So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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