I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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