I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
