she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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