What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
