All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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