quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
