I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
