Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
