And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
