this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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