Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
