I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
