I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize