I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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