Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
