Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
