If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize