every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
