Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
