I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize