if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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