What did we do last night that was yellow?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
