Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
