going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
a search helicopter?!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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