Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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