I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
