You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
