oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
