so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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