yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
