she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
