Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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