i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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