I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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