Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
