And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
