god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize