no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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