Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
