Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize