Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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