forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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