How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
