Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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