Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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