she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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