I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
And then he peed in my hair
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