bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
