Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
