I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Randomize
