I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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