CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
