There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
