My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
