I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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