Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
