I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize