she was so not down for the gang bang
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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