so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he thought i was a dude.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
