If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Someone came in the potted fern
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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