im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
