maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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