Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
