Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
