His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
did i walk over a car last night?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize