Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
