I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
