yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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