Porn is love you can see.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
