You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
