I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
