ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
