hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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