As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
