He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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